If it gets any better than this, the Monkey would like to hear how! Buttery croissants and big bowls of café au lait are rife in Montréal, a city with its fair share of cafés. For those who prefer bread of a different persuasion, Montréal is also, like New York, a bagel center par excellence.

Owing in part to historic links with the great brewing regions of Britain, France, and Ireland, Canada puts out some spectacular beers (as well as some sub-par dilutions with undeserved renown, much like its neighbor to the south). Rickard’s is not a particularly good beer, but the Monkey is never one to avoid the tipple, and he partook of a variety of delicious brews during his visit to Montréal. The province of Québec has a penchant for delivering some devastating brews that harken back to Trappist techniques: Fin du Monde is one example with an almost wine-like quality. All this talk about beer is making the Monkey thirsty…

If there’s one dish besides bananas the Monkey can’t resist, it’s a classic Swiss fondue. So, while in Montréal, the Monkey had to pay a visit to the city’s fondue mecca, Fonduementale. This bi-level restaurant, in a beautiful old house on the lively Rue St-Denis, serves as a temple to the infinite glories of melted cheese. Here, the Monkey prepares to tuck in. Bon apetit, Singe!

Never get between the Monkey and his Kir Royals: Ugly things can happen.

Aside from culinary pleasures, Montréalers are also into carnal delights. The city has an expansive red light district, and prostitution is widespread. On the lighter side of the city’s sex trade, there are many shops that sell various almost comical paraphernalia for the kink-inclined. Here, the Monkey tries on a whip, er, wig in one of the city’s many sex shops.

Montréal is a romantic city, even leaving aside the contribution of this shop at the intersection of Rue Ste-Catharine and Boulevard St- Laurent, the heart of the city’s downtown red light district.